WORDS TO REMEMBER....

"Its not our abilities that show what we truly are....its our choices...."

Sunday, February 27, 2011

my first CRUSH...!!!C1!!!

                         A new academic year, a new college and with the new faces all around the classroom probing me, i have entered the room and found myself a comfortable seat in the second column of first row from left. Then i could take a glance of the world around me. Two guys, whom i already knew were sitting at the back. "Its their routine", i thought in my mind. Some gave me a pleasing smile, some a careful & probing glance & the rest, i thought they were "not aware of me yet". At the dawn of the first class after the teacher has stepped in, he had asked the new ones to introduce ourselves to the class. After the introduction was over, he slid into his teaching mode. As usual (i didn't knew that then) he asked students to getup and read the paragraphs one after the other. He asked me to start the lesson first. Startled by this, i reached the podium slowly and allowed my anxiety to come down. To my relief, it was just one page thick and i finished it before he has asked my neighbor to continue.Later he picked up some other students randomly and finished the lesson, afore leaving the class when the bell rang.



                           After a couple of classes, there was a short break. It was then i could recognize the twin faces beholding me, the two guys in the same bench i has chosen this morning are eagerly waiting for me to open my mouth. I introduced myself again and copied my timetable. I was glad that we all had common timetable, (also one boy among the two familiar faces at the rear).For three peaceful days, i have managed to mingle with as many students i could. (I am poor at talking to strangers & i hardly mingle with anyone). I knew what i couldn't observe all these days are those people who were away from us for some language periods and other optionals except one boy who was the fourth lad of our bench. I could manage to know some of his close circle. Of the ones who he had introduced me was a lass, who shares a couple of my genres. Firstly, i could recognize that she was the one among the three new students to the class that year and secondly, she too was a type of "i don't speak" like me. But, he said that she has changed a lot and has begun opening her mouth. I don't know whether the simple smile she gave me was earlier or the way she did ogle at me was. I couldn't open my mouth facing her but i could hear the pounding in my chest. I did not know the reason but i liked her very much.

                       She did not look at me again for many days but there was no single day i did not wanted to talk to her. Its routine for me for all these years that the thing i liked very much always was away from me. I did not get a chance to talk to her the entire year.
The days passed on and the next year i could not believe that she was again in my class, this time sitting in the bench beside mine. And i have all the reasons to blame myself that i could never talk to her. To my resentment, later i had come to know that she has hooked up with her childhood friend a few days earlier. What can i do?, besides blaming myself. "That guy was touring south america, their family moves there every monsoon",said the guy who introduced her to me. "Perhaps, he could be rich, perhaps he could be a stud", i thought in my mind and i could feel a thorne in my throat dropping into my stomach. I have lost control over myself and ultimately the miserable performance in my finals woke me up. Later, i have stopped worrying however. (i was gifted with a soul which ignores the things that trouble me much)
                         I was happy with my routine except with the twins. I didn't have any problem with them any day but it was the nights they worry me a lot, absconding from the parties and many other fun times. They were among the few people who form my closest circle. I know that i was their best friend and they never try to hide anything from me (But none missed them as much as me). It was on one of my friend's birthday that they started to their home as the dusk was vanishing (as usual). I wanted to talk to their parents and i had set off in silence behind them, unnoticed. They never allowed or invited anyone to their place. I could not keep up with them. They are almost running and i was finally bewildered to see them flying into thick greens on the bank of the river from the bridge across the river. I could not sleep that night. The next day i was delayed to the class. Despite tired by the brisk walk & sleepless previous night, i was curious to see the twins sitting there as usual. They wished me in the same old manner. It was during the lunch, when we were alone i ordered them to take me to their home to finish a project i was doing with them. As usual, they turned down my order for no reason.
"Should one has to know how to fly to come with you?"i asked. It sounded stupid but i just cant keep it with me. I could see the doubt in their face. "I followed you yesterday night", i was wondered that i was fearless.
They probed their faces for sometime and then mine. "You didn't do that.. you just cant do that", they whispered one after the other.
"Yeah! you were right. I couldn't follow you from the bridge", the amplitude of my voice was now low. "I think all the time that i was your friend. And you never treated me as your friend", i was furious.
"DON"T - BE - STUPID"one of the twins seemed to lose his temper."If there is anyone more than a friend to us, its you"the  other retorted.
"Then please tell me ... if you ever cared for me", i remained furious.
"Okay! I promise you i would tell you everything once the today's dusk vanishes away ","at the bridge you have seen us last, yesterday night" the twin who stayed calm continued,"you have to swear us, you shan't unveil this to anyone".
"I do!"i whispered.
That night i went to the bridge and was surprised to see that the bridge was clear off the traffic like the previous night. The bridge was rarely free of traffic during  the day as well as night unlike these two nights. I could hear the thumping of my heart & then i saw a pair walking towards me from the other side the bridge as if they have appeared from air on the mid portion of the bridge. I could not move my jaws, they were partly parted away as they started narrating their story. They said that they were not complete humans, their souls are partly ripped off their bodies by aliens on the midnight their parents were killed in an accident on the mid portion of the bridge, when they were infants. The car flew into the forest beside the river and they fell out of the car before it blew off. Then some people rushed out of a giant saucer performed some rituals on the infants. They said their body structures change during night. I was frightened by their bodies. They were white skinned with reduced size of face and large orbits with black eyes. They grew a pair of wings along with the 4 limbs. The wings resemble those of bats but are white. They said they were grown at an ashram and the changes started from the night they attained puberty. The people of ashram did not know the fact.

                         They feed on blood of all kinds of wild animals and beasts. The crumbling populations were tempting them to shift to domestic animals and livestock. They were the FLYING HUMANOIDS, they said "they were plenty of our kind, mostly the survivors of the accidents clashing with the visits of aliens. We are transparent to all the radiation when we are what we are, during night. And humans cannot feel us if we did not want to. And we do not die if we did not want to".
ALL OF ONCE I SHUDDERED AND OPENED MY EYES AND FOUND MYSELF LYING ON MY THICK BLANKET ON THE FLOOR...!
                       The days passed on and on. I was enjoying the company of the twin humanoids. We used to gather and do loads of silly things during nights. Later on, i was happy that i could ignore that girl. But, on a rainy day when i was returning to hostel from library, i saw her waiting for the rain to stop outside the library. I could not control my mind and my eyes turned to her. To my surprise, she gave the same smile she has given me when we faced each other the first time. But her eyes has no traces of the familiar glitter i felt for the last time. She appeared annoyed and tired. Later, i found out that she broke up with her boyfriend.(i didn't know whether i should jump or feel sorrow for her condition)I heard that,"her boyfriend has become insane after returning from a tour to south america . He started frightening her and always trying to attack her when ever she goes home. So she was staying back at hostel and was not going home in holidays. Also her family was going to shift here as they too were troubled by him. They found this town as the only safe place to live in".The twins who were visiting my room regularly were aware of this fact. We planned many things to drive the insane totally mad if he comes here. They know my feelings towards her and they were poking me to take an advantage. But i know about me.

                         Meanwhile, they told me to be alert when we roam during nights . They said that they saw some strange beast a couple of months ago. It was a bloodsucking monster, feeding on any larger animal with adequate amounts of blood. They were afraid that it may feed on me. They have just two encounters with that monster. The first time they have observed its every move and senses. Thus, they tried to attack it during the second time but it had a miraculous, narrow escape. I remembered its funny name what they said was a "CHUPACABRA" . They said it can spread a virus which can infect the humans when they were attacked. "If the humans survive its attack they have every chance of transforming into a monster of its kind. And we humanoids love to hunt them as they were our most favorite & rare prey",a twin continued,"the monster's next visit to the place will be its final visit to a place on the earth".

                         I couldn't believe in myself that i , by myself started moving closer to her.
She was more talkative than i was. I loved to listen whatever she said. Hardly, she was happy for longer periods and she was moving to sorrow from every topic. I tried so much to make her feel better. Finally, i demanded her to narrate her misery which  moved me very much. Her boyfriend was a nice and handsome guy (rich too, she didn't mention it) . She doesn't understand the main reason for his abusing, erratic behavior at a prom night after his return from his last tour, during which he lost his family in a mysterious accident in dense forests. He was stable at first, but later he grew wilder and tried to rip the overall she was wearing. She escaped from him that night and reached home. Later, he tried to attack her twice at home. So she stayed back at hostel to avoid him. He attacked her home twice and he called her up later and his voice was much coarser and he was speaking all about spending a night with her and biting her to lead a happy life with her. All that i could do is to console her. I have informed the same to my humanoid friends. They too felt bad and did not speak much about that.

                         A week later, i accompanied her to buy some books and we stayed awhile at the store as it was raining cats and dogs. Meanwhile, i wondered seeing the guys behind us giggling at something. I turned my head to peek over my shoulder and was astonished to see the twins behind us. I had not seen them any where in the store till now. She too peeked over her shoulder and i could guess her reaction. We wished them and set off along the road ahead under the umbrellas the twins brought. Added to my astonishment they have invited us to a shack amidst the way to our hostels saying that it was their uncle's place. They have not mentioned to me at least once about their relatives despite my regular interrogations. The shack was spacious enough to be organised into a hall and a kitchen. It has a cabin made of stainless steel, which appeared purposeless. All of us entered the cabin as it occupied most of the shack and was well decorated.
"Perhaps, he has gone out on some work",a twin said moving towards a table " lets have some tea"and he opened a flask on the table.
"Not a cup for u" he said over his shoulder to me. Yes, they know i hate tea. Then the twins called me out after asking her to stay back in the cabin.
Once we are out, the twins hurried in their words "we are going to have an excellent prey tonight, the whether brings it here this time". The other one stated "truly its not just whether, its also after the lass in the cabin"
"WHAT DOES IT MEAN?..."i thought,
"u say the chupp...!!!" i ended.
"Yes...chupacabra is here tonight. And this is gonna be its last visiting place on the earth", they retorted.
"And what the work it has with the girl inside the cabin?.... "i asked.
A twin replied "the boyfriend has come here this night to bite his love to lead a happy life with her."
"To infect her her?"i couldn't think of it.
"Exactly! just recall what u heard of him, monsoon tours to south america" the twin continued "and he returned in grief of loss of his parents and as the monsoon here has been prolonged for a while, he remained himself. Actually the virus ends up its incubation period afore monsoon and enters latency after the monsoon".
The other twin started "its better if you stay back in the steel cabin, steel is known to be repellent to the monster as it burns the skin of the monster and drills into its flesh".
I obeyed their order and went inside the cabin. I saw her startled and drowned in perspiration."He came here, he reached the window and tried to break it. And he moved away. Perhaps, he might break into this cabin"she was shivering. I tried to console her and narrated her the monster boyfriend story. She was shocked and i didn't know why but she appeared beautiful to me even in such a situation.
I comforted her and requested her not to ask any questions but to relax. After a couple of hours, the twins returned into the cabin. I could see a scab on the neck of a twin and an abraded elbow of the other. I ran to them and they appeared highly satisfied despite the injuries. They too sat down and later narrated the humanoid and chupacabra versions. She seemed relaxed now and said "i feel it like a dream...all the monsters and preys". "Please help me to the hostel"she asked me. We returned back to the hostel and i was very glad to spend such a long time with her.
"GOOD NIGHT"...she wished me after promising that she was not going to reveal the humanoid twins story to anyone.
"HMM..GOODNIGHT,.. SWEET DREAMS" i replied.
"NO DREAMS"she whispered.

                      After one week, (i didn't propose her yet, i have every reason to blame myself) i am leaving to home for holidays and i have reached the railway station. I bought my ticket at the kiosk and was going on to the platform when a guard stopped me. He just inquired my details while walking with me. He advised me to take the first left instead of second (that usually contained the main entrance) due to some repair works. I took first left and i was surprised to see the hearing was going on regarding the prime minister's murder. My mobile vibrated in my pocket and i picked up the call observing the hearing of the case.
"hello, Yeshwanth where are you?"i wondered after recognizing the voice of my (girl)friend.
"Hey i am at the railway station, i am at the hearing of prime minister case"... then i could feel a huge rock dropped into my stomach. "what am i saying...."i thought...
Meanwhile she screamed.... "What the hell are you doing at the PM's hearing and why does the hearing occur on a railway platform?..come back..!"
ALL THE CHARACTERS OF HEARING LOOKED AT ME ONE AFTER THE OTHER AND I COULD NOT MOVE ANYMORE.



Then i woke up again with a shudder . The time was 8:30 am and i am sitting on the floor of my room on a thick blanket. I am 2 weeks away from my M.B.,B.S.-II final exams and i couldn't tell about my (this) dream to anyone but i have been recollecting it every morning so that i wont forget this.... 
ITS A POST IN MY BLOG NOW ....huh....:) ;)

                         
                        


                         




Saturday, February 26, 2011

the quintessence of a medico: The Karanam community of Andhra Pradesh

the quintessence of a medico: The Karanam community of Andhra Pradesh

The Karanam community of Andhra Pradesh


Karanam culture, especially in Andhra Pradesh, is associated with Niyogi Brahmins. People from this culture could be seen as clannish. They are reluctant to form matrimonial alliances with people outside of their own caste. In some cases marriage with first-cousins is perfectly acceptable, even recommended.


click here or on the title to read more....



They have common festivals which are celebrated by Brahmins, but Karanams, unlike the rest of the Brahmins, were warriors, administrators, ministers, reformers in pre-independent colonial India i.e. more like the Samurai of Japan.Typically, Niyogi Brahmins take on secular vocations such as the Karanam position, which is a highly esteemed position in villages because Karanams are tantamount to upwardly mobile members of the village i.e. aristocrats. Historically, the Karanam position is patrilineally passed down from father to eldest son and this position stays within the family. But in the early 1980s, N.T. Rama Rao, a prominent actor and politician, mandated that the Karanam position be rescinded. In place of a Karanam, he established a Mandal officer position which is granted based on merit and scholarship, not based on caste thereby giving opportunity to people from any caste to contest for such a position.
Karanam culture also has roots in Kayastha of North India. Kayastha believe they are descendants of Chitra Gupta. Accounting is the main profession for Kayastha. Like Kayastha, most Karanams in Andhra Pradesh are the head village accountants for their respective villages.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

ACCEPT ME....!

Twenty years i has been, not a girl i have seen
trailing me in my dreams, disturbing my realms.
A smile in your face- reason for my heart's race,
frenzies my mind. Abduction from nuance.
Dont know why..but i love you..!
Stifling and smothering me you are, standing by me!
Appalling and frightening it is to close my eyes,
may thou vanish from my purviews. Strained plea..
by my eyes and you never granted 'em a chance.
Cant say why .. but i love you..!
I love your laughter, stupefacient it is to me.
I like to see you frown at me, abutting on compassionate pity.
I like to see you cry, when the cause is me.
I love your blush to my recitation, a serendipity.
Dont know why..but i love you..!
Tattle something, i am an ear.
My fingertips access your cheek and hair,
as you make eyes at me,
and the hellish poser least bothers me.
Cant say why..but i love you..!
A fluttering heart is mine, in a dire need
of your love. Awaiting your heed.
A spruce acquiescence grants you perennial blossom,
You will ever love your life with this handsome.
why?..because i love you..!!


YOU HAVE JUST "ONE LIFE" TO CHOOSE...